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Chicago bears 2025 draft picks

Chicago bears’ 2025 draft picks: will robot linebackers and deep-dish QB schemes save the draft-pocalypse? 🐻🏈


What picks do the Bears have in 2025?

As of now, the Chicago Bears’ 2025 draft picks are like a squirrel’s secret stash of acorns—technically existent, but hidden in a fog of future trades, compensatory math, and the lingering hope that someone, somewhere, will accidentally email Ryan Poles a first-rounder. Barring any more “hold my kombucha” trade moments, here’s the loose blueprint: they’ve got their own picks in Rounds 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7. The second-rounder? Oh, that’s currently vacationing in Washington thanks to the Montez Sweat deal. (No refunds.)

The Treasure Chest (a.k.a. Their Own Picks)

  • Round 1: The crown jewel. Ideal for drafting a QB, a left tackle, or a sentient tackling dummy that can also sell deep-dish pizza.
  • Rounds 3-7: The “mystery box” section. Could be a Pro Bowler! Could be a guy who accidentally refers to Soldier Field as “Wrigley Stadium.”

The ‘Wait, How Did We Get These Again?’ Picks

Thanks to Poles’ habit of trading picks like they’re expired coupons, the Bears might have an extra second-rounder (via Washington) if the Commanders finish worse than a TikTok apology video. There’s also the lingering ghost of a 2025 fourth-rounder sent to Buffalo for Ryan Bates, who may or may not be a cyborg designed solely to confuse fans during preseason rotations.

So, to recap: Chicago’s 2025 draft capital is currently a Rube Goldberg machine of possibilities. Will they package picks to move up? Trade down for a haul of 2030 picks? Use a seventh-rounder on a punter who moonlights as a medieval lute player? Stay tuned—the only certainty is that someone will overreact to whatever happens on Day 3.

Which NFL team has the most draft picks in 2025?

As of right now, the Arizona Cardinals are sitting atop the 2025 draft pick throne like a squirrel hoarding acorns before winter. They’ve stockpiled a whopping 12 picks, which is basically the NFL equivalent of buying 12 lottery tickets and whispering, “One of these has to hit.” Rumor has it their general manager traded a stapler, a half-eaten sandwich, and “future considerations” to assemble this treasure chest of opportunities. Whether they’ll draft 12 players or just one really, really good waterboy remains to be seen.

Breaking Down the Cardinals’ Draft War Chest (Because Math is Fun?)

  • First-rounders: 2 (because one is never enough when you’re rebuilding a team from LEGO blocks).
  • Day 2 picks: 5 (rounds 2-3, where you find either future Pro Bowlers or guys who’ll later open a successful yogurt franchise).
  • Day 3 picks: 5 (rounds 4-7, aka the “dart throws while blindfolded” portion of the draft).

They also have a bonus 4th-round compensatory pick for losing a free agent who probably still texts them memes on weekends. It’s chaos. Beautiful, beautiful chaos.

The Strategy: Genius or “Let’s See What Happens”?

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The Cardinals’ front office is either playing 4D chess or just really into collecting draft picks like Pokémon cards. They traded away veterans like they were cleaning out a closet—”Does this aging pass rusher spark joy? No? TRADE HIM FOR A 6TH-ROUNDER.” Meanwhile, fans are left wondering if they’ll use all 12 picks or bundle them to move up and draft an actual cardinal (the bird) to serve as team mascot and emergency kicker.

Will this lead to a dynasty or a reality show called “12 Picks, 12 Problems”? Either way, grab popcorn. The 2025 draft could feature Arizona picking so often, the commissioner just moves a cot onto the stage. And honestly? We’re here for it. 🍿

Who are the Bears playing in 2025?

The Usual Suspects (Plus a Few Wild Cards)

The Chicago Bears will, of course, face their eternal NFC North frenemies twice each in 2025. That means:

  • Green Bay Packers: The cheese-shaped thorn in their side since the Coolidge administration.
  • Detroit Lions: Now with 200% more “underdog comeback” vibes.
  • Minnesota Vikings: Purveyors of horned helmets and emotional rollercoasters.
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Out-of-Town Guests Bringing Drama

The NFL scheduling gods have also decreed showdowns with the AFC South and NFC West divisions. Translation: prepare for:

  • Jacksonville Jaguars: Florida’s answer to “what if a big cat owned a timeshare?”
  • Houston Texans: They’ve got a rookie QB? A veteran QB? A QB-shaped piñata? Who knows!
  • San Francisco 49ers: The team that’s either a dynasty or a dumpster fire, depending on the week.

The Mystery Meat of the Schedule

Two games remain TBD based on 2024’s chaos. Will it be the Panthers (aka “The Team That Traded Its Soul for a QB”)? The Giants (masters of “we swear we’re good again” propaganda)? Or a surprise visit from the Commanders (formerly known as “That Team With The Logo That Looked Like a Golf Brand”)? Stay tuned!

In true Bears fashion, 2025’s schedule is a mix of guaranteed heartburn, existential dread, and at least one game where everyone collectively asks, “Wait, *why* are we playing the Titans in December?” Grab your antacids and NFC North bingo cards—it’s gonna be a ride.

How did the Bears get the 144th pick?

Ah, the 144th pick—the draft slot that sounds like the answer to a riddle whispered by a squirrel in a visor. How did the Bears end up with this mid-round gem? Let’s rewind to a time when draft picks were traded like Pokémon cards in a cafeteria. Back in 2023, Chicago swapped their 2024 fifth-rounder (and a future “please don’t make us regret this” note) to the Bills for this very pick. It’s the NFL equivalent of trading a slightly used lawnmower for a mystery box labeled “maybe a starting guard, maybe a sentient tackling dummy.” Classic.

The Art of the Deal (or How to Barter with Imaginary Friends)

To understand the 144th pick’s origin story, picture Bears GM Ryan Poles wearing a cloak and holding a staff made of old Jay Cutler memes. The process likely involved:

  • Step 1: Dialing the Bills’ front office while humming the Mission: Impossible theme.
  • Step 2: Offering a pick that’s approximately 1.7% less valuable than a stale deep-dish pizza.
  • Step 3: Crossing fingers that Buffalo didn’t notice the Bears also smuggled a live bear cub into the trade terms.

And voilà! The 144th pick was born, swaddled in contractual fine print and a faint aroma of Buffalo wings.

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Compensatory Picks: The League’s “Here, You Tried” Trophy

Wait, was this pick a compensatory gift? Nope—it’s too early in the draft for the NFL to hand out participation confetti. Compensatory picks are reserved for teams who lose free agents, not for franchises that accidentally draft three punters in a row. The 144th was pure trade alchemy, a reminder that draft capital is just Monopoly money if you squint hard enough. Now, if the Bears had gotten a compensatory pick, it’d probably come with a coupon for therapy sessions. But that’s a story for another H2.

So there you have it: the 144th pick is the result of a front-office wizard trading future chaos for present chaos. Will it pan out? Only time—and the inevitable “Why Did the Bears Draft a Guy Who Owns 17 Ferrets?” headline—will tell.

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