Who owns Neptune Restaurant?
The Divine Lease Agreement (Circa 1 BCE)
Let’s address the *elephant squid in the room*. Neptune Restaurant is, obviously, owned by Neptune—the Roman god of freshwater and the sea. Rumor has it he signed a 2,024-year lease using kelp parchment after a heated negotiation with a marinated calamari acting as his lawyer. The current manager? A very patient octopus named Gerald who handles the day-to-day chaos. Try the clam chowder—it’s allegedly blessed by Poseidon’s estranged cousin.
The Underground Mollusk Syndicate Theory
According to a highly credible source (a talkative clam at the raw bar), Neptune Restaurant is a front for an aquatic illuminati. Key players include:
- A hermit crab wearing a monocle (“Sir Shellsworth”)
- A shrimp collective unionizing for better butter-dipping rights
- A lobster who may or may not control the stock market
Their demands? More coral-themed decor and a strict “no tartar sauce” clause.
The “We Swear It’s a Normal Human” Scenario
If you insist on *boring terrestrial answers*, paperwork filed in 1983 claims ownership by a Mr. Marvin Buoy. Coincidence? Unlikely. Marvin has:
- Never been photographed without snorkeling gear
- A pet goldfish named “The Senate”
- An uncanny ability to summon seafood specials during thunderstorms
His LinkedIn simply says “🌊 Professional Water Enjoyer 🌊.” Draw your own conclusions.
The Eternal Debate: Who’s the Real Boss?
Staff whisper that the restaurant is self-aware and *actually owns itself*, like a sentient lobster trap. Regulars claim the building winks at low tide. One Yelp review insists the true owner is “a guy named Carl,” but Carl denies everything while aggressively garnishing a ceviche. The mystery continues, much like the endless breadsticks.
What are Seafood Palace’s most popular dishes?
THE “LOBSTER THERMIDOR” (OR: HOW TO MAKE A CRUSTACEAN CELEBRITY)
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when a lobster gets a glow-up, meet the Lobster Thermidor. This dish is like sending your taste buds to a black-tie gala hosted by Poseidon himself. The lobster is baked, stuffed with a creamy mushroom-cheese sauce, and flambéed with brandy (because why not add pyrotechnics to seafood?). Rumor has it the lobsters audition for this role. Only the most dramatic make the cut.
CRAB LEGS: A BUTTER-SOAKED WRESTLING MATCH
The Crab Legs at Seafood Palace aren’t just food—they’re an activity. You’ll receive:
- A mountain of legs (biblical proportions)
- A mallet (for “negotiating” with shells)
- A side of melted butter (enough to float a rubber duck)
It’s part meal, part primal therapy. Pro tip: Wear a bib. Your shirt will thank you.
SHRIMP SCAMPI: GARLIC’S GREATEST HITS ALBUM
The Shrimp Scampi is here to prove garlic and butter are the ultimate power couple. Imagine shrimp doing the tango in a pool of lemony, garlicky sauce, then crowd-surfing onto a pile of pasta. It’s bold. It’s zesty. It’s the dish that’ll make your breath declare independence from polite society. Worth it.
CLAM CHOWDER: THE SOUP THAT INVENTED COMFORT
Seafood Palace’s Clam Chowder is less “soup” and more “a warm hug from a nautical grandmother.” Creamy, briny, and speckled with tender clams, it’s served in a bread bowl so sturdy, you could theoretically use it as a life raft. Fun fact: Locals whisper that Neptune himself licks the spoon. We don’t ask questions.
