Aman Hotel NYC: Luxury Oasis or Overpriced Disappointment? (2024 Review)
The Crown Jewel or Crown-Induced Wallet Panic?
Let’s address the elephant in the $3,000-a-night suite: Aman NYC is either a zen paradise or a masterclass in making your bank account weep. Nestled in a 1921 Crown Building, this hotel promises “transcendence” via marble floors, private fireplaces, and staff who probably know your coffee order before you’re born. But is it worth trading your firstborn’s college fund (or, let’s be real, a kidney on the black market) for a stay? Depends: Do you consider “oasis” synonymous with “selling plasma to afford the minibar”?
Amenities: Unicorn Tears or Just Fancy Water?
The Aman Spa is a 25,000-square-foot temple to self-care, where massages involve floating on clouds spun from unicorn tears (or so the bill suggests). The pool? It’s Instagrammable enough to make Poseidon jealous. Dining options include Arva, where the pasta costs more than your monthly Wi-Fi bill, and Nama, where sushi is art—and priced like a Picasso. But here’s the kicker: the “complimentary” wellness classes. Namaste… but also, *nah-ma’be-later* when you realize “complimentary” doesn’t include your dignity during goat yoga.
The Good, The Bad, and The… Wait, How Much?!
Pros:
– Pillows so plush they’ll haunt your dreams.
– Toiletries that make you smell like a French woodland nymph.
– Views of Central Park so crisp, you’ll forget the city’s chaos (until you check your credit card statement).
Cons:
– The minibar’s cashews cost $50. *They’re cashews, not cashew-adjacent diamonds*.
– “Discreet service” means staff vanish like ninjas… or they’re hiding from your questions about the $120 “artisanal” ice cubes.
– You’ll debate whether the “luxury oasis” aura is from the ambiance or the delirium of spending $900 on a candle.
So, is Aman NYC a miracle or a mirage? Imagine a spaceship made of marble and money landed in Manhattan. You decide if you’re boarding—or just taking a selfie outside and calling it a day.
7 Shocking Truths About Aman Hotel NYC – Is It Really 5-Star Worthy?
1. The Lobby is a Portal to a Parallel Universe (Or Just Really, Really Quiet)
Step into the Aman’s lobby, and you’ll question if you’ve accidentally wandered into a library for introverted ghosts. The silence is so profound, you’ll hear your own heartbeat—or maybe the soft sobbing of your wallet realizing it’s about to be emptied. The minimalist design? It’s either “Zen masterpiece” or “wait, did they forget to finish building this?” No in-between.
2. The “Suite Life” Costs More Than Your Childhood Home
Aman’s suites start at $3,500 a night. For that price, you could:
- Buy a small island nation’s GDP in artisanal kombucha
- Rent a literal castle in Scotland (with a moat)
- Or just… live here, because why leave?
The kicker? The bathtubs are so deep, you’ll need a lifeguard. Priorities!
3. The Spa Offers a “Gold Leaf Facial” (Because Why Not?)
Why smear on boring old mud when you can rub 24-karat gold on your face? Aman’s spa menu reads like a Bond villain’s self-care routine. The real shock? It’s not even the most absurd treatment. Rumor has it, for an extra $1,000, they’ll whisper affirmations to your pores in three languages.
4. The Staff Knows Your Name Before You Do
Check in once, and Aman’s team will greet you like a long-lost relative—every time. It’s either witchcraft or a secret underground AI network. Either way, it’s unsettlingly delightful. Pro tip: Mention you hate kale once, and watch it vanish from the continent.
5. The “Secret” Bar Requires a PhD in Espionage to Find
Nyma, the hotel’s speakeasy, is hidden behind a bookshelf. Because nothing says “5-star luxury” like playing real-life Clue just to order a martini. Bonus points if you solve the riddle of why the olives cost $28.
6. The Garden Terrace is 14 Floors Above Reality
Aman’s rooftop garden is a lush oasis… suspended in mid-air. It’s like Central Park got a jetpack and a trust fund. The plants are probably watered with champagne. The real question: Do the pigeons here wear tiny monocles?
7. The Bathrobes Are So Fluffy, They Should Come With a Warning Label
Slip into one, and you’ll instantly morph into a sentient cloud. The downside? Leaving your room becomes a moral dilemma. Is it worth braving the mortal world just to “see the sights”? (Spoiler: No. Order room service and float away.)
So, is Aman NYC 5-star worthy? Depends. Do you consider being pampered into oblivion while questioning life choices a valid metric? If yes, welcome to the matrix. If not, there’s always that moat-equipped castle in Scotland…
