What are the best bones to use for homemade bone broth?
1. Beef Marrow Bones: The Beyoncé of Broth Bones
If bone broth had a red carpet, beef marrow bones would strut down it in sequins, waving collagen-rich collagen like a trophy. These chonky cylinders are packed with gelatin, making your broth so luxuriously thick it could double as a face mask (disclaimer: don’t). Roast them first for a caramelized depth that whispers, “I’ve lived a full life, probably in a pasture.” Just don’t blame us when you start hoarding them like a squirrel with existential dread.
2. Chicken Carcasses: The Underdog MVP
That leftover rotisserie chicken skeleton staring at you from the fridge? It’s a broth superhero in disguise. Chicken bones are the minivan of broth ingredients—reliable, economical, and secretly cool. Simmer them with onion scraps and celery ends for a broth that’s lighter than beef but still cozy enough to hug your insides. Pro tip: Add feet (yes, chicken feet) for bonus gelatin. They’re like the weird cousin who shows up uninvited but somehow makes the party better.
3. Pork Knuckles or Trotters: The Gelatin Overlords
Pork knuckles are the cult classic of the bone world—underrated, slightly odd, and capable of transforming your broth into wobbly, jiggly perfection. These guys release so much collagen your broth might achieve sentience. Throw in a trotter, and you’ll get a texture so velvety it’s basically liquid cashmere. Warning: Explaining “why there’s a hoof in the pot” to guests may require advanced conversational judo.
- Fish frames? Sure, if you want your broth to taste like the ocean’s spa day (avoid oily fish unless you’re into “bold” life choices).
- Game bones? Venison or lamb bones add wild, earthy vibes—like sipping broth by a campfire while questioning your life decisions.
The key? Mix, match, and embrace the chaos. Your broth pot is a democracy—all bones are equal, but some bones are more equal than others (looking at you, marrow). Just avoid anything labeled “mystery femur” unless you’re writing a true-crime cookbook.
Is it worth making your own bone broth?
The Great Bone Debate: To Simmer or Not to Simmer?
Let’s address the elephant in the broth. Making bone broth involves staring at a pot of bones for 12+ hours, which is either a spiritual journey or a cry for help. On one hand, you’ll save money (store-bought versions cost more than a ticket to a cat video film festival). On the other, you’ll need to befriend a butcher, hoard carcasses like a culinary dragon, and explain to guests why your stove smells like a medieval apothecary.
Pros, Cons, and Existential Crises
- Pro: You control the ingredients. No sneaky “natural flavors” that might secretly be the tears of overworked kale.
- Con: Time commitment. You could’ve binge-watched 14 episodes of Flipping Vintage Spatulas in the time it takes to strain cartilage.
- Pro: Collagen! Your joints and skin will glow like a Renaissance painting. Maybe.
- Con: Accidentally summoning your ancestors, who’ll judge your seasoning choices.
Broth or Bros: What Are You Really Brewing?
Homemade bone broth isn’t just soup—it’s a 48-hour character arc. You’ll bond with your crockpot, question life decisions as chicken feet bob in the water, and achieve enlightenment when the broth finally gels. Store-bought broth? It’s fine, but lacks the drama. No bragging rights, no mysterious sediment to analyze like a broth archaeologist. Plus, DIY broth lets you whisper affirmations to the bones. Very therapeutic. Probably.
Ultimately, it’s worth it if you enjoy turning kitchen projects into weird flexes. If not, there’s no shame in buying a carton and telling everyone it’s homemade. The bones won’t snitch.
Why do I feel weird after drinking bone broth?
Is your skeleton trying to send you Morse code?
So, you’ve sipped the liquid essence of 1,000 ancient soup pots, and now your body’s staging a silent protest. Why? Well, bone broth is basically a collagen smoothie brewed by witches (or your wellness-obsessed aunt). All those simmered tendons and marrow might be whispering secrets to your gut. Your stomach’s either throwing a gratitude parade or filing a complaint with HR. Possible reasons for the weirdness:
- Your liver just discovered it’s been “detoxing” without hazard pay.
- Your cells are confused by the sudden influx of “grandma’s witchcraft in a mug.”
- You’ve unlocked a new emotion: bone guilt (you didn’t personally thank the cow, did you?).
Your body is 75% water, but suddenly 3% haunted
Bone broth’s amino acids, like glutamic acid, might be staging a tiny coup in your brain. Are you foggy-headed? Jittery? Experiencing the urge to write poetry about ox femurs? Congratulations, you’ve absorbed too much “ancestral energy.” Some folks blame the histamines in broth – your body’s like, “Is this a nutrient or a prank?” Meanwhile, your gut flora is hosting a debate: “Is bone broth a superfood or just hot animal Jell-O?” Spoiler: No one knows.
Maybe you’re just … turning into a femur?
Let’s not rule it out. Bone broth is packed with minerals like magnesium and potassium, which are great unless your cells start vibrating at unsanctioned frequencies. Feeling a twinge of existential dread? That’s the ghost of the celery you boiled for eight hours. Or maybe you’re dehydrated because broth’s sodium content sent your kidneys into a cha-cha slide. Pro tip: Chase it with water, not more broth, unless you want your bloodstream to resemble a medieval moat.
Remember: Bone broth has been “healing” humans for centuries, but it’s also been confusing them. If the weirdness persists, consult a doctor – or a shaman who specializes in poultry-based spiritual crises.
What not to put in bone broth?
Your Grandma’s Porcelain Figurines (or Any Non-Bone, Non-Edible Object)
Let’s start with the obvious: bone broth is not a dumping ground for sentimental clutter. Those tiny ceramic elephants Aunt Marge gifted you? Not collagen-rich. Rubber duckies, spare change, or that expired library card? Hard no. Bones, veggies, herbs—yes. Anything you’d find in a junk drawer—no. Your broth should taste like nourishment, not a garage sale.
Dairy, Sugar, and Other Culinary Saboteurs
Bone broth is a savory elixir, not a dessert experiment. Pouring in milk? Now it’s a weird bisque. Adding sugar? Congratulations, you’ve invented “meat tea.” Stick to onion skins and bay leaves, not maple syrup or rainbow sprinkles. Remember: if it belongs in a cupcake, it probably doesn’t belong in your broth.
Questionable “Bonus Ingredients” (aka Regret)
- Leftover takeout noodles: They’ll dissolve into a starchy sludge.
- Old salsa jars (unwashed): That’s not “umami,” that’s mold.
- Essential oils: Lavender broth won’t “calm your aura”—it’ll haunt your toilet.
The Entire Spice Rack (Yes, Even That One)
A pinch of turmeric? Lovely. Dumping the entire contents of every spice jar? Now your broth tastes like a candle shop exploded. Cinnamon, cardamom, and clove have their place—unless you’re brewing a potion for witches, keep it simple. Your broth shouldn’t double as a fall-themed air freshener.
Remember: bone broth is forgiving, but it’s not a compost bin for your questionable life choices. Keep it weird, but keep it edible.
