Who are the doctors at the village surgery?
Meet the Misfit Medics of Mayhem (and Mild Ailments)
The Village Surgery is staffed by a rotating cast of characters who’ve mastered the art of healing—or at least the art of convincing you that nettle rash isn’t actually sentient. Leading the pack is Dr. Barnaby “The Human Stethoscope” Cabbage, a man who once diagnosed a sprained ankle by listening to a patient’s kneecap. Rumor has it he’s also obsessed with prescribing beetroot for “low vibes” and once tried to X-ray a suspiciously quiet toaster.
The Supporting Cast: Oddballs with Otoscopes
- Dr. Penelope Puddlewick-Miggins: A former competitive taxidermy enthusiast turned GP, she’ll casually reference her “years of experience with lifeless bodies” while checking your blood pressure. Specializes in hypochondria (both treating and contracting it).
- Dr. Reginald Quibble: A conspiracy theorist who blames all modern ailments on “Wi-Fi fairies” or “under-caffeinated mitochondria.” His cure for the common cold? A strict regimen of yodeling and raw garlic. Do not ask about his “moon landing rash” theory.
But Wait—There’s a Method to the Madness
Between Dr. Cabbage’s beetroot evangelism and Dr. Puddlewick-Miggins’ habit of comparing your sinuses to “a well-stuffed ottoman,” you’ll wonder how anyone survives. Yet, mysteriously, the waiting room’s always full. Maybe it’s their 24/7 “Tears of Laughter” hotline for non-emergencies. Or perhaps it’s Dr. Quibble’s infamous “Alien Allergy Clinic” (spoiler: it’s just hay fever). Either way, they’re your gloriously bizarre medical lifeline. Bring snacks.
