New York Jets Draft Picks 2023: Grading Every Selection and Analyzing Team Strategy
Round 1: Will McDonald IV, DE, Iowa State (Grade: B-)
The Jets used their first-round pick on a guy who’s built like a folding lawn chair but hits like a meteor. McDonald, a pass-rush specialist, joins a defense already stacked with edge rushers. Strategy? Apparently, the Jets are collecting pass rushers like Infinity Stones. Grade: B- because while McDonald’s spin moves could power a wind turbine, drafting another DE feels like buying a third blender. Useful? Sure. Necessary? *Gestures vaguely at the offensive line.*
Round 2: Joe Tippmann, C, Wisconsin (Grade: A-)
Finally, someone who can snap the ball without tripping over a shadow! Tippmann, a 6’6” human forklift, is here to protect Aaron Rodgers’ avocado ice cream regimen. Grade: A- for addressing the Jets’ O-line woes with a guy whose name sounds like a pub trivia host. Strategy? Upgrade from “gas station sushi” to “artisanal charcuterie board.” Rodgers might even crack a smile. Maybe.
Rounds 3–7: The “Wait, Who?” Collection
- Round 3: Carter Warren, OT, Pitt (Grade: B): A tackle who’s “projected to develop” is Jets-speak for “we’ll teach him to block by 2025.” Solid pick if you ignore the fact he’s competing with traffic cones for reps.
- Round 4: Israel Abanikanda, RB, Pitt (Grade: B+): A running back with 4.3 speed? Perfect for outrunning the existential dread of Jets fandom. Plus, “Abanikanda” autocorrects to “banana kabanda,” which is fun.
- Round 5: Jarrick Bernard-Converse, DB, LSU (Grade: C+): A Swiss Army Knife DB! Or as Jets fans call it: “duct tape for a secondary held together by hope.”
- Round 6: Zaire Barnes, LB, Western Michigan (Grade: C): Depth pick or future trivia answer? Only time will tell. His highlight reel is 90% him high-fiving teammates.
- Round 7: Zack Kuntz, TE, Old Dominion (Grade: B-): A 6’7” TE named *Kuntz*. The Jets are either geniuses or trolling us. Yes.
Team Strategy: Protect Rodgers, Confuse Opponents, Profit?
The Jets’ draft strategy was equal parts “build a fortress around Rodgers” and “let’s see if anyone notices we drafted a guy named *Kuntz*.” By prioritizing linemen and defensive depth, they’re betting Rodgers can turn water into wine (or at least Gatorade into touchdowns). Meanwhile, the defense now has enough edge rushers to start a boy band. Will it work? If Rodgers stays upright, maybe. If not? At least the memes will be elite.
New York Jets Draft Picks History: Hits, Misses, and Lessons Learned for Future Success
The Hits: When the Stars Aligned (Briefly)
Let’s start with the rare moments when the Jets’ draft room smelled like optimism instead of stale coffee. In 1965, they picked Joe Namath, a man whose knees were held together by duct tape and prayers, yet he delivered a Super Bowl III guarantee. Then there’s 2007’s Darrelle Revis, who didn’t just shut down receivers—he sent them to the shadow realm. And who could forget Nick Mangold, the human boulder at center? These picks were like finding a diamond in a landfill—a landfill the Jets themselves curated.
The Misses: When the Football Gods Laughed (Loudly)
Ah, the ”oops” eras. In 2008, Vernon Gholston was drafted to sack quarterbacks but instead mastered the art of invisibility (0 sacks in 45 games). Then there’s 1990’s Blair Thomas, a running back who ran like he was avoiding rent checks. The 2020 draft? Mekhi Becton and Denzel Mims were supposed to be cornerstones. Instead, Becton’s knees staged a rebellion, and Mims forgot how to catch. The Jets’ draft blunders are so legendary, they could teach a masterclass on ”How to Overthink in 10 Minutes or Less.”
Lessons Learned: Spoiler Alert – They’re Still Learning
- Lesson 1: If a prospect’s college highlight reel is just them high-fiving fans, maybe keep scrolling.
- Lesson 2: Drafting 17 quarterbacks since Namath? Maybe stop trying to ”out-cute” the room.
- Lesson 3: “Potential” is code for “will haunt your franchise for 5 years.”
Will the Jets ever crack the code? Stay tuned. Or don’t. Their war room whiteboard currently just says ”draft good, pls.”
