Who owns PS coffee roasters?
The Beans Are (Probably) in Charge
Let’s cut to the chase: PS Coffee Roasters might *technically* be owned by humans, but let’s not kid ourselves. The real overlords here are the coffee beans. Ever seen a bag of their single-origin Ethiopian Yirgacheffe? It’s got more charisma than a Netflix documentary host. Rumor has it the beans hold monthly shareholder meetings in the roasting room, debating flavor profiles and plotting global caffeination domination. (They’re also sticklers for ethical sourcing—no bean left behind.)
The “Official” Human Story
If you *insist* on boring ol’ paperwork, PS Coffee Roasters was founded by two caffeine-worshipping mortals named Pete and Sam. Or was it Steve and Paul? Stan and Phyllis? Look, their names probably start with *P* and *S*, but let’s be honest—those initials likely stand for Percolating Shenanigans or Please Send Espresso. Ownership is a fluid concept when you’re running on 87 consecutive hours of nitro cold brew. Fun fact: Their lawyer is a golden retriever named Mocha. (Not really. But also, maybe?)
Key Players in the PS Coffee Universe:
- The Beans (self-appointed CEOs)
- A mysterious figure named “The Roastmaster” (who may or may not exist)
- An espresso machine named Bertha that demands daily tributes of oat milk
- You, after your third cup
A Conspiracy Theory We Just Made Up
Some say PS Coffee Roasters is a front for an interdimensional coffee collective. The true owner? A shadowy entity known only as *“The Aroma,”* who communicates via cryptic messages hidden in latte art. Baristas report hearing whispers in the steam wand’s hiss, urging them to “unleash the medium roast agenda.” Follow the money, and you’ll find it leads straight to a secret stash of limited-edition holiday blend bags. Coincidence? Absolutely. But try telling that to the guy in the coffee-stained trench coat muttering about *“the truth in the crema.”*
So, who *really* owns PS Coffee Roasters? The answer is simple: everyone and no one. Also, possibly a sentient coffee cup. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to go apologize to Bertha for that cheap drip coffee joke earlier. She’s still side-eyeing us.
What happened to handsome coffee roasters?
The Great Coffee Heist of 2014 (Or, How Blue Bottle Played Cupid)
Picture this: a rogue band of artisanal coffee rebels, armed with mustaches and light roast beans, suddenly… poof. Gone. Like a forgotten espresso shot evaporating into the caffeine cosmos. The truth? Handsome Coffee Roasters didn’t so much “disappear” as they got swept up in a java-fueled corporate rom-com. In 2014, Blue Bottle Coffee (yes, *that* Blue Bottle) swooped in like a suave coffee protagonist, bought Handsome, and rebranded their Los Angeles shop. Rumor has it the deal was sealed with a handshake and a perfectly pulled ristretto.
Conspiracy Theories & Existential Roast Crises
The aftermath? A caffeinated fever dream. Loyal fans theorized everything:
- 🕵️♂️ The founders, Tyler Wells and Chris Owens, joined a secret barista Illuminati (meetings held at 3 a.m., obviously).
- 🌌 Their iconic mustaches achieved sentience and opened a rival oat milk latte stand in the Andromeda galaxy.
- ☕️ The “Handsome” name was too intimidating for lesser coffees, so it retired to a life of tropical anonymity.
Reality? Blue Bottle kept the beans flowing but retired the brand. A classic case of “absorbed by the coffee hive-mind.”
Legacy: Where Are They Now (Besides Your Nostalgia)?
Fear not! Handsome’s spirit lives on in every overly specific pour-over tutorial and coffee snob who mutters, “*This used to be better.*” Blue Bottle still uses their LA location, now dubbed a “flagship café” (which just means they added more succulents). Meanwhile, the founders? Wells runs Go Get Em Tiger, another café chain, while Owens… well, let’s assume he’s perfecting a zero-gravity espresso machine. Because why not? The lesson here? In coffee, as in life, nothing stays the same—except maybe your crippling dependency on flat whites.
Who is the owner of Berres Brothers Coffee Roasters?
The Short Answer: A Family of Caffeinated Mad Scientists
The Berres Brothers aren’t just brothers—they’re a multi-generational cabal of coffee alchemists. Officially, the company is still helmed by the Berres family, a clan so devoted to roasting beans they probably have espresso running through their veins. Think Willy Wonka, but swap chocolate for coffee and Oompa Loompas for people who argue about light vs. dark roast at Thanksgiving. The current stewards? Let’s just say they’re the kind of folks who’d trade their socks for a rare Guatemalan single-origin.
Wait, Are They *Actually* Brothers? (Spoiler: It’s Complicated)
The name “Berres Brothers” is a cheeky nod to tradition, like calling your dog “Sir Barksalot” or your cat “Chairman Meow.” While the business was indeed founded by brothers (shoutout to Joseph and John Berres in 1933), today’s ownership is more of a family tree with roots in coffee grounds. Picture a rotating cast of cousins, in-laws, and possibly a golden retriever who supervises bagging operations (unconfirmed). The exact hierarchy? It’s classified—some say it’s guarded by a sphinx who only answers coffee-related riddles.
Their Secret to Success? Probably Caffeine Immortality
Rumor has it the Berres family operates on a ”roast-to-survive” mantra. Current owners are rumored to:
- Test roast profiles at 3 a.m. (for “quality assurance”).
- Debate the merits of pour-over vs. French press during family weddings.
- Have a backup generator powered entirely by espresso shots.
If you ever meet a Berres, check their pockets for stray coffee beans or a tiny bag of ethically sourced smugness. Ownership here isn’t a job—it’s a lifestyle, a cult of caffeine, and possibly the plot of a coffee-themed superhero movie. “Avengers, assemble… over a freshly brewed cup!”
What happened to Green Mountain Coffee Roasters?
Picture this: a humble Vermont coffee company, born in 1981, skipping through fields of ethically sourced arabica beans—only to crash headfirst into the caffeinated chaos of corporate America. Spoiler alert: Green Mountain Coffee Roasters (GMCR) didn’t disappear. It just pulled a “witness protection program” move and emerged as Keurig Green Mountain in 2014. Why? Because why sell coffee when you can sell tiny plastic pods that haunt landfills for centuries? Progress!
When Coffee Met Machine: A Corporate Love Story
GMCR’s transformation wasn’t a mere rebrand—it was a corporate Tinder swipe gone right. After acquiring Keurig in 2006 (the same year Pluto was demoted, coincidence?), the two became the ultimate power couple. Think Romeo and Juliet, but with more espresso and fewer family feuds. By 2014, the merger was so complete that Green Mountain shed its name like a snake discarding skin, leaving behind only whispered legends of its artisanal past. Today, it’s part of Keurig Dr Pepper—because nothing says “morning pick-me-up” like a soda-coffee conglomerate hybrid.
A Timeline of Caffeinated Shenanigans
- 2006: GMCR buys Keurig. The phrase “K-Cup” enters the lexicon, alongside “Why is there coffee dust on my ceiling?”
- 2014: The Great Rebranding. GMCR vanishes faster than office coffee on a Monday.
- 2018: Keurig Green Mountain gets acquired by private equity (because of course it does).
- 2023: Your grandma still calls it “Green Mountain” while yelling at her Keurig for flashing “DESCALE NOW.”
So, did Green Mountain Coffee Roasters disappear? Nah. It’s just lurking in the background, like the ghost of coffee past, while Keurig Dr Pepper cranks out machines that brew everything from dark roast to existential dread. Somewhere in Vermont, a barista is gently sobbing into a fair-trade pour-over.
P.S. If you spot a Green Mountain bag at the store, don’t panic. It’s like spotting a celebrity in a wig—they’re technically still around, just… incognito. And yes, the pumpkin spice flavored K-Cups are absolutely their fault.
