What is Ausar Thompson’s illness?
Let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the 6’7″ athletic phenom in the room. Ausar Thompson’s so-called “illness” appears to be a rare condition known as “Too Much Hoops Syndrome” (TMHS), characterized by an uncanny ability to leap tall defenders in a single bound and leave crowds muttering, “Wait, how’d he *do* that?” Symptoms include explosive dunks, defensive wizardry, and occasionally causing opposing coaches to develop spontaneous migraines.
Diagnosing the Mythical Ailments
- Verticality Overload: Thompson’s hops defy gravity so aggressively, NASA has reportedly asked him to stop “messing with planetary physics.”
- Clutch Gene Contagion: Rumor has it his fourth-quarter performances are so potent, they’ve been classified as a public health hazard in three states.
- Chronic Highlight-itis: Sufferers of this condition involuntarily generate viral clips, often leaving social media algorithms in need of therapy.
If you’re still worried about Ausar, rest assured. The only “treatment” required is a strict regimen of dunking on fools and occasionally vanishing from a defender’s field of vision. WebMD-certified armchair doctors have confirmed his prognosis: “Probably just built different.” Side effects may include inflated expectations, airborne sportscaster voices yelling “OH MY GOODNESS,” and fans arguing about his ceiling (both literal and metaphorical).
In all seriousness, though—scratch that, seriousness isn’t on the menu here. Unless “illness” is code for “being so good at basketball it’s kinda rude”, Ausar Thompson is about as sick as a chocolate fountain at a birthday party. Or, as one TikTok physiotherapist put it: “Bro’s got a clean bill of health… and a prescription for ten more highlight reels, stat.”
What happened to basketball player David Thompson?
David “Skywalker” Thompson, the man who once leaped over small buildings in a single bound (or at least that’s how legends inflate his 44-inch vertical), didn’t so much “retire” as he did crash-land back to Earth. His career arc resembled a rocket shot into space with fireworks strapped to it—spectacular, blinding, and then… poof. After dominating the 1970s as a human highlight reel (ABA and NBA All-Star, scoring titles, and a sneaker deal before it was cool), Thompson’s trajectory got tangled in cocaine suspensions, knee injuries, and a vibe that screamed, “This guy parties harder than he posterizes.”
The Downhill Slope (With Style)
- 1982: A staircase—yes, a staircase—allegedly tackled him during a fight at Studio 54’s less-glamorous cousin. Ankle destroyed. Gravity: 1, Skywalker: 0.
- 1984:** The NBA said, “Hey, maybe lay off the nose candy?” and suspended him. His response? Retired at 29, leaving fans to wonder if his career was a Looney Tunes episode that ended with an anvil drop.
Post-Basketball: The Unlikely Reboot
Post-retirement, Thompson pivoted to motivational speaking, rehab stints, and presumably teaching youngsters how to jump over Volkswagens. He got inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1996, proving that even if your career nosedives like a pelican with a vendetta, legacy sticks around like glitter at a disco. His 2000s? Mostly staying upright, avoiding stairs, and being the answer to trivia questions like, “Who’s the guy Jordan idolized before he became… Jordan?”
Today, Thompson’s story is a cautionary tale wrapped in neon leg warmers. He’s the reason your grandpa mutters, “Back in my day, players had real vices… and real verticals.” If you spot him now, he’s probably sipping sweet tea, knees creaking like a haunted floorboard, and chuckling at modern dunk contests like, “Please. I did that in loafers.”
Where is Klay Thompson on the 3 point list?
Let’s cut to the chase: Klay Thompson is currently lounging in the Top 10 of the NBA’s all-time three-pointers made list like it’s a VIP hot tub. As of July 2024, he’s chilling at 8th place, tossing confetti-worthy triples over roughly 2,300 career threes. To put that in perspective, he’s trailing Ray Allen and Steph Curry by a distance that could comfortably fit a small alpaca farm (or 500-800 threes, depending on your preferred unit of measurement).
But Wait, Where’s the Confetti Cannon?
Here’s the kicker: Klay climbed here while missing two full seasons due to injuries. Imagine baking a cake, accidentally leaving it in the oven for two extra years, and still winning a bake-off. That’s Klay’s career arc. He’s the guy who’d pause mid-apocalypse to remodel his kitchen and still break records. While Steph and Ray Allen sprinted up the list, Klay took a scenic detour through Physical Therapy Land and still arrived fashionably late to the top 10.
The “Splash Brother” Math
- Steph Curry: Over 3,600 threes (basically a human trebuchet).
- Ray Allen: 2,973 threes (retired, but probably still shooting in his dreams).
- Klay: 2,300+ and counting (while occasionally forgetting basketball exists between shots).
Klay’s secret? He treats three-pointers like they’re expired coupons—relentless and slightly confusing. His career 41.3% three-point percentage is higher than Steph’s, which is either a fun fact or proof that Klay’s hands are legally classified as GPS-guided launchers. If the three-point line ever files a restraining order, we’ll know why.
So, where is Klay on the list? Somewhere between “elite” and “how did he make that shot while daydreaming about boats?” Catch him climbing higher—once he finishes his postgame recovery nap.
Who is Amen Thompson’s brother?
If you’ve ever stared at Amen Thompson’s highlights and thought, “Wait, did I just watch the same dunk twice?” congratulations—you’ve stumbled upon the Twilight Zone of Twin Basketball Phenomena. Amen’s brother, Ausar Thompson, isn’t just some random sibling who borrowed his DNA and called it a day. No, they’re identical twins who were literally drafted back-to-back in the 2023 NBA Draft (Amen at #4, Ausar at #5), because the universe clearly has a sense of dramatic flair.
The Ausar Files: Clone? Doppelgänger? Side Quest Version?
Ausar isn’t just Amen’s brother; he’s his 6’7″ shadow with a slightly different jumper. They both:
- Played for Overtime Elite (OTE), because why bother with traditional college basketball when you can join a league that sounds like a energy drink sponsor?
- Boasted nearly identical stats in their pre-draft seasons (Ausar: 16.3 ppg; Amen: 16.4 ppg—*spicy* rivalry at the dinner table).
- Have a brotherly telepathy that’s either adorable or terrifying, depending on which fast break you’re watching.
But wait! Ausar has his own quirks. Scouts insist he’s the “better defender” (sorry, Amen), and he landed with the Detroit Pistons, where he’s already mastering the art of looking perpetually chill while playing for a rebuilding team. Meanwhile, Amen’s in Houston trying not to trip over Jalen Green’s highlights. Separated by one draft spot, united by a shared childhood of who’s-better debates that probably involved Nerf hoops and mom’s lasagna as a peace treaty.
Twin Conspiracy Theories We’re 10% Serious About
Some argue the Thompsons are a single entity split into two bodies for logistical reasons—like when you clone a Pokémon to handle double battles. Others swear they’re competing in a secret lifelong game of “NBA 2K MyCareer,” and we’re all just NPCs in their quest for legendary status. Either way, their existence raises pressing questions: Do they share a Group Chat? Who’s better at Uno? And how do their teammates tell them apart? (Spoiler: jersey numbers. Probably.)
So, next time you see Amen posterize someone, remember: somewhere out there, Ausar is doing the exact same thing, but in a different colorway. The Thompsonverse is vast, unpredictable, and requires popcorn.
